/ audacious

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

emotion confess`

looking at ser's yesterday entry, makes me feel like writing some stuff...
somehow, after much stuff that had happened, i think i get to know myself better. i know that i'm still not prepared to go into a relationship. maybe a few yrs more? what i need is not a boyfriend but just a person that i can lean on. aka, a pillar. i know i'm selfish, but its what i realised after much thoughts. yar, so my guys now are just my pillars. erm, does it sounds awful? what i meant is they are just my close friends that i shall not habour any evil thoughts. *grins*. lets give myself a probation of two yrs? until i really learn how to love then i can go into a relationship. for now i just need ppl to dote on me, care for me, acc me when i'm down and listen to my craps. cos i'm sure i will make a very bad girlfriend. to me if i can get over someone so quickly den i'm only treating him as a pillar; not someone dat i loved. i think what they hurt is not my heart but my pride. is that why i'm still avoiding them? due to pride? i guess so. and they had kill all my trust for them. or u can say i'm just petty lar... moral of the story? don't lean on a pillar too hard, it will collaspe one day. this is what i wan to point out to ser, but cannot say too much or t monster will come and kill me... hahahahas...

cleared my drawing assignment. one down four to go. six more days to hols. two major one on fri and history exam on mon. tues will be just going back and let david grade my clay sculpture. but now... i dunno. politics. that's a really hard thing to solve. in social world, its like that. haix...

{5:12:00 pm}